You don’t need to hold on so tightly.
You don’t need to harden, even when it gets hard.
I know it feels ‘safe’, to protect ourselves.
I know the tension is a reaction that we often can’t control.
I know it’s scary to surrender, and be soft.
I know because I’ve been very well-acquainted with hardness, tension, and self-preserving protection mechanisms of controlling life around me.
I know the dullness that I felt as well, the exhaustion and the loneliness of always holding, and never allowing myself to be held.
The feminine holds, yes. But she holds in softness. She surrenders her personal will of 'controlling' how love is expressed, so that even when she is nourishing another, it is from the overflow of her own soft nature, where love naturally wishes to flow.
The feminine rests, not because she earned it, but because she knows she deserves it, purely because she exists.
The feminine flows, moving like water fluidly carving out a different path when sticks and stones present themselves in the stream.
The feminine softens her mind to delight in play, just because it feels lovely to be in the pleasure of lightness and joy, rather than focus on the end 'goal.'
The feminine feels, all of it, and is open to feeling. She is not rigid in the face of tender feelings. She does not lock them away and hide her heart. She lets them flow out of her, and does not attach to any one state of feeling. She knows that it too will pass, if she allows it to.
When I talk about the feminine, I am at once talking about the energy of the feminine, which is within all of us, as well as the feminine within women who identify with this core essence.
This is why I use the word ‘she’ here, as I am speaking to the feminine within women that we know and sense, and sometimes repress. This is what Claiming Feminine is all about. This is why I crave to work with women, because I've known two ends of this spectrum. The hardness, and the soft.
I’ve been there. I went deep into her repression.
I found myself locked into mental illness and physical deprivation to an extreme point. And then, I began to heal. I awakened to life, opened to it again, and have been on this healing path for 7 years now. I've learned through so many different paths, from so many different people, and continue to learn in expected and expansive ways.
Where I find myself is very different from where I was, because I find myself now at home.
Home in my body, my heart, and home in my expressed feminine.
I’m not saying that there are never times that I don't close or go rigid again. But I am saying that through feminine wisdom and practice, I've become attuned to what it feels like, to repress her. This heightened sensitivity allows me to catch myself (sometimes early on, sometimes a little later) when I harden, and return home again to softness.
For you now, dear woman, feel your body right now, as you read this. Is there tightness in your chest? Is there tension in your jaw, or your throat? Are you pulling your belly in? Let yourself soften.
Take a moment to move through your body, as if your body is turning to honey. We can start with the physical, embodying softness, so that the oozing melt continues within our mind and heart.
This is what I wish to share with women from all walks of life, who feel called.
This is what we dive into in our all-women Bali Claiming Feminine Retreats.